Homestuck according to my sister and her friend.

Haha They're really bad at guessing genders.


S = Things said by my Stepsister
F = Things said by her friend
B- Things they both said, I was just too lazy to go back and separate

Aradia
B-A wannabe Yak demon mom in the morning

Tavros
F- He’s obviously crippled
F- A homosexual who
S- likes touching frogs in the wrong places

Sollux
F- Oh god…
S- He looks like he’s been molested many times
F- Where’s his arms?

Karkat
F- He looks like he has cheese puffs in his hair
F- His hair looks like that gokoobon guy from Dragon Balls Z

Nepeta
S- OH MY GOD!!!
F- Kinda looks demon nyan cat.
S- Oooo. Pretty eyelashes
S- He’s got a tail

Kanaya
F- Boy Hair
S- Indian imported asian hooker

Terezi
F- He has the red slippers from wizards of oz
Me- That’s a girl
F- AH!!!!

Vriska
F- Screams and falls down
F- she has a wrench in her hair
S- Unless she’s a boy

Equius
F- muffled screams
F #1! Where do I even START with this one…?
F- “Chewed arrow ear” Stupid
F- His face is shaped like a heart
F- and, I would believe you if you said he was a girl

Gamzee
S- IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE HIS TOE?
F- He looks like he’s staring at boobs

Eridan
S- I don’t even know what to say about this one
F- I do
F- Okay, I’ve said a lot of mean things about the horns, but REALLY???
F- He’s obviously trying to be Count Fishboy
F- Kinda looks like someone spilt punch in his hair
F- Clown pants
F- His name should be NERPS

Feferi
F-OKAY she looks like she’s wearing underwear
S- She looks like an Indian imported fish hooker
F- She trying to be gangster
F- Mustache lip

John
F- Stick man!
F- HIS EYES!! ARE JUST… HANGING OFF OF HIS FACE
F- Grim Reaper hoodie
F- Don’t even get me started on the three buck teeth

Rose
F- She looks like… what’s that called? OH a Chinese person
F- Hair stupid
S- What happened to her nose? SPANISH FRY!

Dave
S- Nice CD thing, on his bellybutton or whatever
F- He looks like he’s from the 80’s
S- He looks like he’s from the MATRIX
F- He should be in Greece

Jade
S- AWESOME!!! Nice hair
F- Ohh…. I’m having trouble with insulting this one.
Uh... really ugly girl... I guess...

Cal
S- Is he made out of celery????
F- He looks like a dummy
B- HALF NAKED!!!

Exile 1
S- Elmo
F- Demond ant
F- Chinese Leach
B- Mayor of antotropolopois
S- His legs… He needs to eat more.

Exile 2
S- CIGARETTE

Exile 3
F- Caution, I look like a retarded bumblebee

Exile 4
S- Pointy boobs

Jack Sprite Dog Ring Sword thingie
F- Suicidal
F- He wants to commit suicide very badly. I can tell because of the sword
F-IDk how he cut himself, cuz he doesn’t have arms
Unless the dummy killed him…

Uh... I'm not sure. I forgot his name...
F- looks like gummy worms
F- She stabbed herself too
F- She is the PRINCESS of gummyworms
F- And… Suicide

Mr. Vanilla Milkshake
F- Jack in the box sponser guy
F- He also looks like pops from the regular show

Snowman
F- THIS ONE… HAS A JACKET
S- It glows... O.o

Dave's Bro
S- Boxer Dude
S- Phineas head glasses!

Creator Guy
S- He’S A PUMPKIN!!
F- He looks… Almost… Normal.

John's Dad
F- SPY VS SPY – Mad parody
S- His nose is like a hawk. It’s as pointy as the woman’s boobs.
F- ARMS ARMS ARMS!!!!!!!

Rose's Mom
F- Obviously a wealthy alchoholic
S- What happened to the eyes
F- She’d be normal…. She just needs, you know, eyes.

Jade's Dog Guardian
F- Oh, that’s an… interesting figure
S- What’s up with it’s nose?
F- It looks… kinda… like a dog
F- MINECRAFT!

Jade's Grandpa
F- It looks… like some kind of Hitler thing
S- IT looks like Sherlock homes.
F- Rich?

Maplehoof
F- I’m in love
F- Bunny ears
F- It’s nose is large and attractive

Animal
S- Whoa
F- It’s the gecho guy! But different
S- Is that supposed to be his tail?
F- Or something else…?

Young Jade's Grandpa
F- Smoker
S- He has a squirrl on his lip
F- Birthday party magician smoker
F-Stupid kids

John's Grandma Sprite
F- Saggy boobs
S- Where’s it’s legs???
F- Like the hat
F- Yeah, I always staple gloves to my outfits

Rose's Sprite
S- It’s like… a …catfish… with alien head… and weird arms
F- TENTICALS
F- It is the kitty ghost pricess with… tenticle…ness….

Davesprite
F- Oh… Another suicide victim
F- Ghost
S- Dora’s twin.
F- Floating sunglasses

Jadesprite
F- That one looks just like the other really ugly one.
F- Wearwolf ghost 4 eyes
S- Just look at it! It’s like… nes…

Another Animal
S- WHOA
F- Um…
F- Perry the platypus demon

... uh... fat dude
S- IT’s face is like… so small!
F- Mysterious obese man
S- It’s feet is like beans… giant beans… mmm… beans.

Jack
F- Oh…
S- Oh…
F- A man…
S- With the reflectness

cat
S- WHOA it’s like
F- It’s a four face
S_ It’s mouth is like squiggily Like a W
F- I love it!

O.o...
Oh..
Oh my gosh.
I just learned exactly how messed up my sister is...